Are you a writer? Do you ask people if they like the title, character, or the story? Have you had some people saying, “No, I don’t like it.”
When you hear that, don’t you feel frustrated? Why can’t you please everyone? Ugh!
Creative people really want to please others. In the writers’ camp, I see this all the time on Facebook, on writing forums (like Wacky Writers which you should join, fun and free), and on Instagram. There’s always someone asking for validation or love: “Do you like this title?” or “Do you like this character and relate?” or “Is this interesting?”
Sometimes we get what we’re looking for and feel very good 🙂 But sometimes we don’t and when we ask the person why they don’t like it, some people give vague, unhelpful answers. Others don’t even seem to know why. They just don’t like it.
Defensive wall up! Red alert! Not everyone likes your stuff! Oh no!
My Experience
Whenever I ask people if they like my stuff, I would get in this tug-of-war between people who say they like it, and people who say they don’t. I hear polarizing opinions and I end up in a standstill.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. How can I please everyone? Look at all those famous authors that are loved by so many people! They made it. Why not me? Love my characters, my cover, my title! Love them I said!
But the reality is that even those famous authors have their own set of oppositional folk. And I, too, sometimes am in that dislike camp myself. Hypocrite, huh? 😛 Many people LOVE the “Shadow and Bone” trilogy by Leigh Bardugo. That series gave me a headache. I liked the lore and everything but disliked the main character so much.
Like small parts. Why?
Why do we focus on the small parts of our stories like this title here, that cover there, when the end product is going to be these elements put together. Why do we this to ourselves? If we can understand this, maybe we can figure out a way to not torture ourselves while asking for opinions.
Writers often tackle a book in separated chunks. The title, the cover, the character, plot, world building, map, and anything else. It’s merging all those elements together that make up the story. But do readers think of these individually?
I like “The House with Chicken Legs” by Sophie Anderson. Overall, a beautiful book, so magical in it’s descriptions and with characters you want to follow and cheer on or even condemn for their actions. But if you ask reader me specifically about the main character Marinka, I would say, “I didn’t like her all the time.”
The same thing with the Shadow and Bone trilogy. I could rant all day about Alina (and the whole cast, except the Darkling and that guy Nikolai), but if you ask me about the world building, I can tell you that I thought it was brilliant. The part about the light becoming like a knife and cutting through the beasty things? That was stunning imagery and love the idea.
Does that mean we should never ask people about the individual elements of our stories if we want love, praise, and validation? What about if we do want people to be critical and help us grow through constructive criticism. After all, we are always learning.
Solutions?
Don’t make people think about “like” or “dislike”. Give them a more general question.
Ask “What do you think about…? And why do you think that?”
- It doesn’t put “like” or “dislike” or “relatable” in their minds. Don’t give them any ideas XD
- If you prompt them for “why” it gives them a chance to elaborate. You’re forcing them to make their reasons a part of their answer.
I already tried these in Facebook writing groups. It does seem to give more helpful answers.
So, try it out! Let me know how it turned out for you 🙂
FOXWOOD FOREST 