Way back when at the dawn of time, even before the dinosaurs decided to walk on land,
I wrote a blog post in blogger called, “How could someone kill Death a.k.a the Grim Reaper?” (I linked it so you can read it but you don’t have to. It’s not a prerequisite for reading the rest of this article…or is it? Nah, I’m just kidding.)
It was one of those days, one of those times when I had too much coffee–or maybe I had too much sugar–in my system that I got all philosophical and had Epiphany in shining armor come and give me some new blog topics.
And so I asked myself, “Can Death die?”
That’s like saying, “Can life live?” or “Can life take back the lemons it throws at me?”
At the time I thought it was the best question I have ever asked in the short life I’ve lived on Planet Earth. Because previously I lived on Mars but we’ll keep that a secret.
So, let’s revisit that for the sake of…for the sake of…uh, anyway, I wanted to know if any sources could tell me if Death, the Grim Reaper can die. And then what would happen to us if he (or she) did?
Based on my sources from that strange blog post I wrote in the ancient year of 2016, any representation of Death is some kind of creature or being that has substance a.k.a we can bonk them on the head with a baseball bat if we wanted to.
I then came to a strange conclusion that because Death has substance we can kill him if we wanted to.
Me: But then who will take Death to the river Styx if that is Death’s job?
Epiphany in shining armor: We get punished for killing Death and become Death in Death’s place!
Me: But how do you kill Death? He doesn’t have a heart, right? (traditional Grim Reaper in pop culture is male)
Epiphany in shining armor: He must not know love then. Maybe love kills Death? Once he feels love, he dies!
Me: But how do you make him feel love?
Epiphany in shining armor opened her mouth but then closed it, utterly lost for words. Stumped for an answer the first time in her life, she mounted her white mare and left the scene crying from embarrassment and leaving me flaring my nostrils. I savored the sweet taste of victory that night in the shape of a can of ravioli.
Let’s imagine that yes, it is possible to kill the Grim Reaper.
So then, what happens when we die? Does killing Death mean we are killing the very idea of dying? Does it make us immortal or just extremely wrinkly like a pug for eternity?
A day will come when all humans on earth would be turned into pugs because of one idiot who decided it would be fun to see what would happen if he killed Death.
Studies have confirmed this could be possible in the near future.
Be on your toes, guys. Be ready to be pugs.
Imagine a society run by dogs. What would happen with politics…?
Let’s go back a few steps and ask again: Can Death die?
Actually, I don’t think it’s possible because how can we say that everything with substance, everything that we can touch, can die?
Besides, what do we know about what’s under the Grim Reaper’s cloak? His face might be a skeleton that we can touch but who knows what’s under there? How do we know it’s not just a bunch of zombie cats stacked up on one another trying to trick us?
How do we know it’s not just a floating skull head?
How do we know if Death’s arms are attached to anything?
How do we know if it’s not all just our crazy high-on-coffee imagination?
Well, we don’t know.
So that brings us to this conclusion:
Asking if Death can be killed is a strange question provided by Epiphany in shining armor which we cannot always trust. We cannot answer it because we don’t know what Death is hiding under his cloak. None of the sources give us any clues.
Topics that appear in my head while high on coffee and sugar may not be the best of topics.
Like this one 😛